Sometimes, even our most generous efforts miss the mark.

For five years, my family supported a young boy from an underprivileged background to attend a private school in a more privileged area. We hoped to open doors that might change his future and transform his family’s financial circumstances.

But instead of thriving, he struggled — facing discipline, bullying and academic challenges —  leading to frustration for everyone involved. Despite his courage and effort over the years… last year he ended up failing.

When we asked professionals for help, the advice was clear: send him to a remedial school. At that point his father stepped in — for the first time — and insisted that he return to their local school. And that’s when everything changed.

In his first term at the new school, he exceeded all expectations. He passed with distinction. He became a top student. He joined sports teams. He found joy!

What made the difference?

Belonging.

After years of carrying the quiet pressure of not quite fitting in, he entered a school in his own community and found a true sense of belonging. He found acceptance and safety. He took pride in his story, his background and of who he is, without being mocked. With that belonging, he no longer had to survive. He could thrive!

As leaders, this story is a mirror.

What does exclusivity truly cost us?

How often do we build spaces where people feel like they don’t belong — even if unintentionally? How often do our “standards” make others shrink or doubt themselves? And what becomes possible when people feel safe enough to be fully themselves?

When people belong:

  • They contribute freely
  • They grow in confidence
  • They take on more responsibility with courage
  • They stay loyal
  • And they thrive!

Leadership isn’t just about strategy. It’s about the culture we create — and whether that culture quietly invites people to hide, or boldly welcomes them to rise.

What could shift in your team, your culture, your business — if you put belonging first?